The two worst Christmas songs

Holiday tunes receive some of the most mixed reactions on an annual basis. People either hate Christmas music or they love it. They argue when it’s finally acceptable to play Christmas music, whether it be right after Halloween, before Thanksgiving, or the start of December.

As someone who enjoys his time from Halloween to New Year’s Day, I can tell you that I enjoy a majority of Christmas music. For all my LA people, I play KOST 103.5 every single night before I go to sleep. I’m a very festive person, who will one day have a house lit up as ridiculous as the Griswold’s.

Some of my favorite Christmas songs include anytime I hear Nat King Cole’s voice, “Celebrate Me Home” by Kenny Loggins, Kenny Lattimore’s rendition of “River” and “Christmas Canon” by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra.

However, there have been two songs that have come across my ears around this time that have me hating the holidays for a few minutes. A pair of songs so bad that they make you wish you were celebrating another holiday or not celebrating any at all.

Yes, I’m talking about Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime” and that God-awful tune about Christmas shoes from Newsong.

Starting off with “Wonderful Christmastime”, this is quite possibly the worst mixing ever for a track. Throughout the length of the song, there are these offensive synths that just puncture your eardrums for the entire three minutes and 47 seconds. There’s also no set rhythm to the track either as on the hook, the synths become rapid and layered over each other as if StormTroopers are firing at will behind McCartney. Maybe he let a kid go crazy on the synthesizer and let them press any key imaginable for the hook.

Then, there’s the ugly guitar that shows up out of nowhere after the second verse. No introduction, no lead up, just “hey, let’s throw some guitar notes in there to add some solids to our mostly liquid-y vomit.”

I’ve heard this song for so many years and the more and more I listen to it, the more I’m confused as to how it was sonically approved.

“The Christmas Shoes……” Oh my God.

Have you ever wanted to hear gritty vocals on one of the most overly-dramatic songs in history? Well, then this is the song for you.

Maybe for some of you, this hits a personal note and that’s completely fine, but one thing you shouldn’t feel while listening to a Christmas song is total depression and disgust at the same time. The only reason this song exists is because this Christian band needed to bring together our Lord and Savior and the holiday together in the saddest way possible. “If mama meets Jesus tonight(Christmas Eve).” Are we serious?

Not to mention that our lead vocalist turns himself into the hero of this story as he pays for these shoes this child wants to get for his dying mother. Also, take a look at some of the rhyming here with “frantically” and “me, and “house” and “without.”

This song is just an absolute joke, but I do appreciate the level of cringe it brings from the vocals and the toy-like instrumentals.

There you have it. The two worst Christmas songs I’ve ever had the displeasure of listening to.

What do you believe are the worst Christmas songs out there?

Leave a Reply