‘Children of the Corn’ is a cinematic atrocity

Stephen King is one of the greatest authors of all-time and his influence will be felt for eternity. His books have been adapted into some great movies such as Carrie, Misery, The Shawshank Redemption, and most recently, IT and IT: Chapter Two. However, not all of the King adaptations are great and I am going to talk about one of the worst ones, Children of the Corn. 

This movie involves a couple driving from Nebraska to Seattle; DRIVING FROM NEBRASKA TO SEATTLE. The screenplay writer must have forgotten that planes existed in 1984 because there is no logic in driving that long of a distance. They encounter the town of Gatlin, Nebraska and something just is not right about the small town. They learn that there is a cult of bloodthirsty children who sacrifice adults to please the cornfield god, A.K.A. “He Who Walks Behind The Rows”.

Linda Hamilton is one of the two protagonists in this film and just seven months after the release of this film, she will go on to star as Sarah Connor in one of the most legendary science-fiction films of all-time, The Terminator. Why she decided to take this role is beyond me. Her paycheck must have been worth it.

I will be honest, I have nothing positive to say about this movie.

The acting is atrocious and over-the-top, especially the characters of Issac and Malachi. The direction is supposed to give them an intimidating, haunting, and devilish feel to them, but they come off extremely goofy and comical. The way their jaw moves as they deliver some cringeworthy lines is the most entertainment you will get out of this film.

There is no movie taking place.

You would think that this would be some sort of slow-building film where the kids seem normal and then you find out that they are a part of this cult but the movie gives this away in the opening scene, which eliminates any tension that it could have had.

None of these characters have any layering to them either. Everyone is monotone. Our protagonists are incredibly nice and want to do the right thing. Our antagonists are evil and they want to do very bad things. It is movie-making at its laziest and it feels that way throughout the runtime.

Don’t even get me started on the special effects. I mean come on. Most filming took place in Nebraska where they could have at least done some practical pyrotechnics to take place during these sacrificial ceremonies that are performed by the cult members. If you are dumb like me and watch this film, you will see just how bad the effects are.

The creation and reasoning behind the cult are never explained either. The movie’s logic is, “Here’s a cult. Deal with it.”

This is now the fourth film that I have had a cold reaction to. I am losing sleep watching these movies and I am beginning to have second thoughts on why I am doing this. However, I have a very special review coming tomorrow. Be on the lookout for that.

Also, is Nebraska really all cornfields or is this a harmful stereotype?

Rating: Atrocity/10

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s