Look, I just wrote a five-page essay a few hours before writing this review and all I wanted to do was to sit back and watch a fun movie that also brought on some scares. I have heard good things about Killer Klowns from Outer Space and it has a positive rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so I no reason to not enjoy this movie.

Holy crap….This movie is awful.

Welcome Killer Klowns from Outer Space to the “DON’T SEE” segment. This segment is for movies that are truly awful or have no business being made. The only film I had a part of this segment was the vapid 2019 “live-action” remake of The Lion King. 

This movie is a 1988 comedy-horror film that is about aliens disguised as clowns that come to this small town named Crescent Cove and they wreak havoc on the citizens of this area.

Essentially, this movie is a nearly-90 minute torture chamber of offensive performances, terrible writing, and awful special effects that culminate in one of the worst cinematic experiences of my life.

Within the first five minutes, I knew I was in for something quite terrible. The captain of the police stations seriously said to arrested college students, “Why don’t you just stay there and do your drinking on campus”? On what planet does a cop encourage college students to drink on campus? I know this is supposed to be a comedy movie but nothing about that is witty or funny. It is incredibly stupid. Now, had this reverse, law-undermining cop been saying things like this throughout the movie, then I can see where that is hilarious. But that line was the exception. Outside of that, he is a normal cop doing normal cop activities.

I can respect the work that went into designing the clown costumes and makeup. It is very elaborate and complex so I have to give credit where it is due but what a waste of effort. These “clowns” do absolutely nothing than just blast their victims with this horrible laser effect that wraps them in this cotton candy-looking cocoon.

I even forgot how this movie ended. I just lost total interest in this film a third of the way through. Why it has received the positive reactions and following it has, I have no idea.

If you hate yourself, then spend 90 minutes of your night watching Killer Klowns from Outer Space. 

Rating: 1/10

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